Does this trouble anyone else as much as it does me? I mean, Polar Express in 3D was easily on the most terrifying movies I’ve seen in my life (and that’s saying something). A film starring a thousand white men and one black girl? A horrendous series of nausea-inducing scenes with scary-looking elves going in every direction possible? Tom Hanks is what looks like a latex suit???
The desecration of one of my favorite 2D children books in three dimensions was bad enough, but now I have to bombard by fake snow and shitty hot chocolate? That’s just fucked up. Shame on you, Robert Zemeckis. Shame on you, Tom Hanks.
I swear by my spirit, if this shit happens to Beowulf (another scarring experience), you will be getting quite a nasty letter from yours truly, Mr. Zemeckis. At least it won’t be anthrax!
jk.
Tags: Polar Express 4D, Robert Zemeckis, Tom Hanks
